Ugh. 273.8
September sucked.
I honestly don't even remember the beginning of September. To tell you the truth, I barely remember what happened last week. I got to Friday and not only could I not recall what had happened all week, I couldn't believe it was already time to go back to the stable (Saturdays) and prep for Sunday school. I really don't know where September went.
But I do know that I'm happy to see it go.
I have been in chronic pain all month. All. Month. I really don't think there was a single day in which I didn't have (1) a concussion, (2) severe muscle cramps, (3) a migraine or migraine symptoms (photo-sensitivity or pain places it shouldn't be without the headache), or (4) a damn cold. I have had days where I have coughed so hard I threw up. Days where I thought I was going to the ER if the pain in my arm got any worse (pinched nerve). Days where I couldn't walk because my calves seized every time I took a step. Nights where I didn't sleep because my legs charlie horsed so severely that I woke up every hour. Days where I wanted to pull one of my teeth out of my mouth because it had a pulse and was causing severe pain. And multiple days where I wanted to gouge out my eyes because that would hurt less than the pain I was experiencing.
Right now my skull feels two sizes too small but ironically, pressure relieves the pain. And this is dangerous. Because this is how my self-injurious tics started and are maintained. Because if gradual pressure on my forehead and temples helps, then a sharp *pop* to my head is better. The pain is so intense inside my head, that bashing my fists into my skull actually hurts less. And it's all I can do to not bash my fists into my head right now.
So no, September did not go well on the weight loss front.
Ugh.
September goals review...
Acquire a tape measurer and take my measurements. Post said measurements so that I can't lose them.
Yeah... getting a tape measurer would have actually required me to go into a store. So, no.
Stop getting on the scale once or twice a day. Once a week is good.
So, actually did this one. But not because I was thinking about it, because I was running late almost every morning and I felt like crap. But we'll still count it as a win. And keep it on the goal list for next month.
No more than four fast-food meals this month (this accounts for the
nights I have late classes and don't want to think about cooking a
healthy meal at 8:30 at night).
Hmmm... Yeah, my migraine totally threw this one off track. There are some nights that I don't even want to consider dinner. Or mornings where I can't even consider packing a lunch. I think I ate 8 fast food meals this month. This definitely stays on the list for next month.
October goals:
Get an appointment with an endocrinologist (something my psychologist and I feel is necessary to determine what is actually going on with my metabolism).
Acquire a tape measurer and take my measurements. Post said measurements so that I can't lose them.
Stop getting on the scale once or twice a day. Once a week is good.
No more than four fast-food meals this month (this accounts for the
nights I have late classes and don't want to think about cooking a
healthy meal at 8:30 at night).
