Monday, October 1, 2012

Sucky September

Ugh.  273.8

September sucked.

I honestly don't even remember the beginning of September.  To tell you the truth, I barely remember what happened last week.  I got to Friday and not only could I not recall what had happened all week, I couldn't believe it was already time to go back to the stable (Saturdays) and prep for Sunday school.  I really don't know where September went.

But I do know that I'm happy to see it go.

I have been in chronic pain all month.  All.  Month.  I really don't think there was a single day in which I didn't have (1) a concussion, (2) severe muscle cramps, (3) a migraine or migraine symptoms (photo-sensitivity or pain places it shouldn't be without the headache), or (4) a damn cold.  I have had days where I have coughed so hard I threw up.  Days where I thought I was going to the ER if the pain in my arm got any worse (pinched nerve).  Days where I couldn't walk because my calves seized every time I took a step.  Nights where I didn't sleep because my legs charlie horsed so severely that I woke up every hour.  Days where I wanted to pull one of my teeth out of my mouth because it had a pulse and was causing severe pain.  And multiple days where I wanted to gouge out my eyes because that would hurt less than the pain I was experiencing.

Right now my skull feels two sizes too small but ironically, pressure relieves the pain.  And this is dangerous.  Because this is how my self-injurious tics started and are maintained.  Because if gradual pressure on my forehead and temples helps, then a sharp *pop* to my head is better.  The pain is so intense inside my head, that bashing my fists into my skull actually hurts less.  And it's all I can do to not bash my fists into my head right now.

So no, September did not go well on the weight loss front.

Ugh.

September goals review...

Acquire a tape measurer and take my measurements.  Post said measurements so that I can't lose them.
Yeah... getting a tape measurer would have actually required me to go into a store.  So, no. 

Stop getting on the scale once or twice a day.  Once a week is good.
So, actually did this one.  But not because I was thinking about it, because I was running late almost every morning and I felt like crap.  But we'll still count it as a win.  And keep it on the goal list for next month.

No more than four fast-food meals this month (this accounts for the nights I have late classes and don't want to think about cooking a healthy meal at 8:30 at night).
Hmmm...  Yeah, my migraine totally threw this one off track.  There are some nights that I don't even want to consider dinner.  Or mornings where I can't even consider packing a lunch.  I think I ate 8 fast food meals this month.  This definitely stays on the list for next month.


October goals:

Get an appointment with an endocrinologist (something my psychologist and I feel is necessary to determine what is actually going on with my metabolism).

Acquire a tape measurer and take my measurements.  Post said measurements so that I can't lose them.

Stop getting on the scale once or twice a day.  Once a week is good.

No more than four fast-food meals this month (this accounts for the nights I have late classes and don't want to think about cooking a healthy meal at 8:30 at night).

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