I'm dealing with a lot of service dog drama right now which I'll talk about on my main blog later this week once I figure everything out, but suffice it to say I'm not going to be receiving my dog in September. It will likely be November or December of this year. And I'm really working hard not to eat my feelings.
I am an emotional-eater. There is a difference between emotional eating, and binge eating. I've done both. I have always been an emotional eater; my entire life eating has been something relating to comfort and happy occasions. I was a binge-eater when I was clinically depressed though. When I binge-ate, it didn't matter what I was eating. It only mattered that I ate. I would cruise through the cabinets and freezer and refrigerator and eat anything and everything. It didn't matter if it was a food I liked or hated; low-calorie/low-fat or full-everything, I ate it. This stopped when I got the depression under control.
Now, I am just an emotional-eater. I eat to feel happy. To feel comforted. I don't know if this mindset will ever change, so I'm trying to set myself up for success. Keeping lots of fruit in the apartment to snack on. Drinking a lot of water; sometimes up to 3 liters a day (when you drink this much water, you stay so full that the thought of eating doesn't even cross your mind).
I am also making smart(er) choices when I choose to eat for emotional reasons. Sometimes, fruit and water don't cut it. I don't buy"healthy" ice cream or other things like that; I buy the regular stuff. When I need my ice cream fix (which is one of my "red-light" foods), I don't want the low-cal stuff. Honestly, I'll end up eating more because I'm still looking to get that "fix" than if I start with the real ice cream to begin with. So, instead of grabbing the tub of ice cream and a spoon and sitting on the couch, I'm making myself put ice cream into a mug so that there is a finite amount I can eat. I won't go back and refill the coffee mug with ice cream, but I can sit and polish off an entire pint (or more) of ice cream without noticing.
So Friday night, after I had gotten "The News", I sat down with my mug of ice cream and then Saturday morning I got up early and worked out. I'm refusing to let one bad day of eating or one slip-up force me into the "I-screwed-up" mentality that can derail the progress I'm making. I'm going to work on getting my measurements soon so I can track my progress working out; but I'm already noticing muscles where they weren't before. Which is really encouraging considering it's been two weeks of really hitting the gym hard; I was working out before that, but not at the same level.
Here's my workout tip: do classes!!! I have no spacial awareness, no coordination, and I started with no stamina. If I can make it through a Zumba or body conditioning class, anybody can. And trust me, you won't be the worst person there; and even if you are, so what? Nobody cares what anybody else looks like, they're all too worried about how they look. And I don't go to the gym to look cool, I go to get healthy. So instead of being upset that everybody in the class is lifting weights bigger than me, I'm excited because (depending on the exercise) I have already increased the amount I'm using 2-3 pounds. And I'm planning on increasing my weight again this week. Instead of being miffed that everybody in the step class has two-risers under their step, and my step is flat on the floor, I'm proud of the fact that I can stay on the step the entire class instead of a few months ago when I spent half the class huffing and puffing through the motions on the floor, ignoring the step all together. (And step class is where my muscles are coming from; super hard quads and glutes already! Totally recommend this class if you can find one.)
Here's the real reason behind going to a class though; you are obligated to stay. If I don't feel well, or I get really tired working out on a treadmill or some other piece of equipment on the floor, I won't push myself as hard or I'll bail half-way through my workout. In a class, if I put a foot in the door, I'm stuck in that class. And I'm going to push myself as hard as I can to keep up. And (I promise) that if you don't stare at the clock, time goes by really fast.
Case in point: Thursday I was running late to a 5:30 body conditioning class (the first one of the evening) and I showed up at 5:31 after they had already started. This wouldn't matter to me, except that the class was full. I couldn't see any room peeking in; but, I had been caught peeking in the room. So I sucked it up, wormed my way into the back row, and I did the class. If I had been trying to use an elliptical and they were all full, it would have just been "oh well". But, because people in the class saw me (and recognized me as I'm starting to recognize the people who do the same classes I do), I had to go. And once I drag my butt to the next class, I have to stay for that too. It's being accountable to my workout in a different way, and I think I may have become a Y-junkie for life.
That being said, school starts in a week and I know some of my workouts are going to have to be at the gym on campus. So I'm going to have to do it on my own; but as long as I have the same time blocked out and treat it like a real workout, I think I'll be okay 2 days a week. I'm also going to look into maybe scheduling some personal training sessions at the Y when school starts if I'm struggling to keep up with my workouts; that way they can be very time-efficient and I will be very accountable to a trainer to show up on time and I won't be able to slack off.
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8/9: 1 hour Cardio Intervals/Core, 1 hour Yoga (last time in yoga; my body fought me the entire time, I was in pain, and there were tears shed)
8/10: 1 hour Zumba
8/11: 1 hour Zumba
8/13: 1 hour Zumba (ha! notice a trend?)
8/14: 1 hour body conditioning, 1 hour kickboxing, 1 hour Zumba
8/15: 1 hour step, 1 hour Zumba
8/16: 1 hour body conditioning, 1 hour kickboxing, 1 hour Zumba
8/18: 1 hour body conditioning, 1 hour Zumba
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